Wonderful. I understand it so well.

--
_{^{The fiery windowsills of a setting sun.}}

A ti, tudo entrego.

--
A ton étoile.

Podes crer D:

--
_{^{The fiery windowsills of a setting sun.}}

-grins-

Com certeza.

--
A ton étoile.

beautifully written

--
youre not alone
there is more to this I know
you can make it out
you will live to tell...
-saosin

Thank you kindly.

--
A ton étoile.

This is a fine piece. Your writing has come a long way.

Cheers.

-S

--
It's kinda like being shot out of a cannon in slow motion.

I love the opening lines, but feel lost as the poem progresses. The second stanza is rather distracting, but maybe I'm just biased against pigeons

I'll comment stanza by stanza.

Stanza 1
[Line 2]
string them along her hair and wears the novel
>I believe "string" is grammatically incorrect. Either say "she strings" or "stringing".

Stanza 2
[line 1]
Music molds from ears,
>line 1 seems unrelated to line 2, so the comma becomes a point of confusion.

[lines 2 & 3]
the pigeons aren't flying anymore,
instead, they walk, drink afternoons as if it were tea;
>lovely lines. They would be stronger if not linked to the following lines. I understand they all discribe a street, but it isn't always necessary to string words into long sentences [oh god!] I just reread the first stanza, and I'm guessing the long sentences are intentional. If so, ignore my rambling about sentences being too long.

--
“Now me lay down
to sleep.
Mow da zeebas down
like sheep.
Give dem to me
nice and dead.
Me no happy
‘til me fed.”

-Bedtime prayer of crocs (Pearls Before Swine)

Ahh why thank you kindly for your constructional feedback. And yes, this is a very rough draft after all. Obviously I'll be going back to edit and such. As always, thank you.

--
A ton étoile.